


That Comforting Hold

by meloingly



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Carlos Reyes Needs a Hug (9-1-1 Lonestar), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:20:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27059377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meloingly/pseuds/meloingly
Summary: If someone had told TK that he would be looking at his boyfriend of eight months and not have a clue who he was looking at, he would have called them a liar. But as he sits on the sofa watching Carlos in the kitchen, he realises that's exactly what's going on right now.And if TK wakes up the next morning sore and aching from the hard floors, he doesn't really mind all that much, because he wakes to Carlos uncurling on his chest, hand drawing patterns on his shirt. When Carlos' eyes look up at him, they're bright and pain-free, and then Carlos smiles.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 17
Kudos: 155
Collections: The Tarlos Variable





	That Comforting Hold

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is part of The Tarlos Variable from the Mi Amor Tarlos Discord Server, where four of us agreed to one prompt and a specific timeframe, and we now see the variations between person to person.  
> This specific prompt was "I just want to hug you"
> 
> This is also the very first fic that I've ever written and shared.  
> Right about 78% of the credit goes to [Lire-Casander](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lire_Casander/pseuds/Lire_Casander) for always hyping up whatever three sentences and ideas I'd share with her.  
> She did nicely emotionally supportively bully me into finally writing a full fic though, together with magnificent [FirstDegreeFanGirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/firstdegreefangirl/pseuds/firstdegreefangirl) and ThirteenRedVampireBites.  
> Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters depicted, they belong to their creators. I am writing just for the fun of it.  
> 

If someone had told TK that he would be looking at his boyfriend of eight months and not have a clue who he was looking at, he would have called them a liar. But as he sits on the sofa watching Carlos in the kitchen, he realises that's exactly what's going on right now.

TK and Carlos have always openly prided themselves on being able to read each other. All they needed was a look at the other person and they were instantly in tune. TK runs his hand through his hair three times in a minute, Carlos appears to hug the anxiousness away. Carlos looks down at the floor and bounces on his heels, TK sweeps in to save him from the girl at the bar that won't take a hint. They get out of the car, share a look over the hood, and they're already stretching their arms out to hold hands. It certainly made group games interesting. 

Mateo had said they share a telepathic bond. Marjan put it down to their 'hearts being in complete sync'. Paul thought they just knew each that well. But whatever it was, it's now gone.

Granted, they hadn't met much in the past two weeks. With multiple storms sweeping through the state, wreaking havoc and demanding the attention of all first responders, and multiple personnel being put out due to injuries, they haven't had any days off align together. And the few times where they were on shift together, they'd either cover different scenes or only be able to spare each other a smile at the beginning and end of a shared scene. They were able to trade a kiss once last week and TK had dreams about it for the next two days.

Here they are though, the storms have passed, the carnage has been controlled, and they're in Carlos' apartment, together. But they aren't. _Together_ i, that is. Carlos isn't being Carlos. He has barely spared TK three glances since he walked in an hour ago. The first when they kissed and Carlos said he missed him. The second was when Carlos walked out of the shower and asked TK if he wanted a midnight dinner. Even though TK said he was good, Carlos still went into the kitchen and pulled out ingredients that don't seem simple to assemble. The third is right now, as TK lays on the sofa staring at Carlos, who seemed lost in the cutting board, until he looked up and locked eyes with TK, only to almost immediately look away again.

TK huffs, shaking his head in disbelief. Of all the scenarios he had in mind, being ignored by his own boyfriend was nowhere on the list. The sound seems to attract Carlos' attention though because he asks “are you okay?”

And TK wants to laugh at that, he really does. A big, loud, sarcastic laugh. He settles for a huffed “Oh, you see and remember me now?” instead.

TK hears Carlos' ragged suck of breath followed by the metal knife clicking onto the glass cutting board. He looks back at Carlos to find him staring at the carrots he spent ten minutes chopping, and the annoyance rises.

“Come on Carlos, we haven't been in the same room in two weeks and you won't even look at me?”

TK sees the way Carlos' eyes crunch shut at his words, he sees the slight flinch, the subtle curl of Carlos' shoulders into himself, but he doesn't register it, not really. He's mad now. He's been missing his boyfriend, the man he loves, for the past two weeks, he's been looking forward to this day for two weeks, and now they're here, but Carlos feels more distant than when they see each other across the street in a scene? He doesn't know what is happening, but he doesn't like it.

“If you don't want me here, I can just leave yo-” TK stops halfway through his phrase, for a moment, he sees something he recognises. He sees Carlos jerk his head up at that sentence, sees his hands fist on the kitchen counter, but then there is _fear_ for all of three seconds before Carlos looks down again. 

It brings him to an abrupt halt. He can't get himself to keep talking, not after that reaction. He doesn't know what this is, he doesn't know who this is, he can't read Carlos, but he's starting to realise that something is going on with him, but he isn't talking about it. 

TK sighs, his irritation rising, as much as he wants to push to sit Carlos down and talk it out, he thinks that maybe this isn't the best approach right now. But this isn't what they do. This 'ignore me, ignore you' isn't why they work. They work because they sit, and they talk, and yes they get mad at each other, and yes they get hurt sometimes. They're two separate humans, things happen, there are moments of miscommunication and misinformation. TK knows relationships, and he knows theirs. This isn't them.

He glances at Carlos from the side of his eye, and he's still standing there, at the kitchen counter, now staring at the cutting board. The anger and frustration take a slight back step as worry and concern rise to the foreground. Carlos might look like a stranger, but even so, TK can very clearly see the loss and exhaustion in his entire expression and stance.

He looks back down at the floor, a frown set on his face now, Carlos' expression haunting his mind. As much as he wants to fight this out, he can see that Carlos is in need of help right now. He's never been this quiet. Carlos has always been vocal about his emotions. It's one of the things that TK appreciates and loves. Carlos knows what he needs and wants, and it's taken the toll off TK and prevented any possible insecurities from holding his mind hostage. Carlos has never had a problem asking for help, not from TK. Not until right now.

TK sighs as he comes to the decision that Carlos' well-being is more important than the discomfort of the tense silence and his own vexation. He's still torn about the best method of action, whether he should wait for Carlos to come to him, or if he should confront him and try to figure this out, when the man himself appears on the floor in front of TK, hands coming up ahead of him.

TK jumps with a startle, catching Carlos' hands in his own. “What are you doing?!”, he screeches in a higher pitch than he'll ever admit to. He doesn't have time to ponder his voice range though, Carlos is already replying **“I just want to hug you** , TK,” Carlos' eyes zone onto TK's torso, “I'm tired and alone, and you're all I have, and I just want a hug.”

TK softens and lets go of Carlos' hands in an instant, his own coming down to hold Carlos' face instead. He takes the way Carlos immediately leans into his hand for a good sign. But with the first proper close-up look at his love, he notices so much more. He notices how big Carlos’ under-eye bags are, how his hair is a dishevelled mess, how his neck and shoulders are tense boulders, how deep the frowns on his forehead run.

“What’s going on, Carlos? Talk to me, let me help.”

TK can see Carlos contemplating the gesture, he can see the gears turning, and then, _finally_ , the walls cracking. Carlos' eyes fill with tears that spill over almost immediately, and oh does he break.

“I'm tired, TK, we've pulled so many dead bodies I lost count, I had to tell 15 pairs of parents that their 10-year-old kids that went on a field trip all died, my mom's death anniversary is coming up, and my dad is sick but I can't get time off to go see him, and if he dies he'll be all alone, and Michelle! She's just gone, and Iris won't acknowledge my existence, let alone talk or look at me, and I just," Carlos stops as he drops his head into his hands, voice cracking as he finishes, "I'm so tired.”

Carlos has barely gotten the words out when TK's sliding onto the floor, shins landing on thighs, his arms circling Carlos' shoulders to wrap them in an embrace. Carlos removes his hands from his face and winds them around TK’s torso, going to hold onto the back of his shirt, _like a safe line_ , as he buries his head between TK’s neck and shoulder. 

TK tries to move them, he tries to shift so that his knees rest on the ground rather than their current placement in Carlos’ lap, but he lifts up just as Carlos sags in his arms, and it sends them tumbling to their sides from their previous crouched position. Carlos doesn’t seem to mind though, he doesn’t let go of TK or make a move to show any discomfort, he just tucks his head deeper into the hollow under TK's jaw. So TK turns onto his back as much as he possibly can, before he pulls Carlos flush the rest of the five centimetres between them, and he just holds on. 

TK holds onto Carlos as the wails wreck through his body, he can feel Carlos’ tears seeping into his shirt and his skin, he can feel the vibrations of Carlos’ chest on his own, he can feel the pull of Carlos’ hands on his shirt. He can feel Carlos’ pain, rawer and much more vehement than he ever has before.

Each cry burns a hole in TK's soul, and he finds himself tearing up, but he takes a deep breath and holds it, willing the emotions behind his own brick wall with each second of a slow exhale. TK knows they have a certain dynamic. He's usually the one with the loud apparent pain, the one finding solace in Carlos' arm and attention to complaints, while Carlos is the strong silence, the one who'll ask to be held at night when he needs consolation. For Carlos to get to the point where he can no longer verbalise and his only outlet is the current violent bawling, TK knows he needs to take on a different role. He also knows he will get his chance to be on the receiving side of comfort, it's just not right now. 

He holds onto Carlos as the bawls turn into sobs, and then soft whimpers, and then occasional pants every few seconds, and finally shaky inhales of breath. He feels a small, chaste kiss pressed into the crock of his neck a couple of moments later, and then Carlos is removing his face from TK’s shoulder and sliding a few centimetres down to lay on his chest. TK moves his hands as well, one going up to play with Carlos’ hair, the other drawing circles down on his back.

The silence stretches around them, uninterrupted except for the periodic gasp and gulp. But TK revels in this one. The anguish still surrounds, but at least Carlos isn't going through it by himself, it isn't bottled up, eating at him inside out. At least TK has Carlos in his arms, at least he isn't alone.

“Carlos, baby,” TK asks a few more minutes later, “What can I do? Anything, Carlos, I got you.”

“Can you stay, just tonight?”

The small, shy voice coming from Carlos splinters TK’s heart, but then Carlos continues, “I don’t want to be alone,”, followed by a smaller, weaker “please." TK’s heart proceeds to fully shatter.

“I'm not leaving, baby. I'm right here.”

And if TK wakes up the next morning sore and aching from the hard floors, he doesn't really mind all that much, because he wakes to Carlos uncurling on his chest, hand drawing patterns on his shirt. When Carlos' eyes look up at him, they're bright and pain-free, and then Carlos smiles.

And just like that, TK knows all will be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo, whatcha think?  
> Comments are appreciated. The door for constructive criticism is always open.


End file.
